How to Cope with Loss and Pain

When you lose someone or something that is very precious to you, the grief is intense. Pain, memories, and questions haunt you. You feel you will never be the same again; never really laugh, never recover, never be whole again.
However, it is possible to heal emotionally, mentally, physically and in spirit and become a compassionate, feeling, laughing human being once again. Don't allow the pain to pull you down.

Steps

1. Face up to the issue. Though other people around you may help you temporarily forget your pain, you'll never truly heal until you confront the situation. Ignoring the pain and not feeling it can sometimes bring serious repercussions later.
2. Share your feelings with others. If you can't find a friend, lean on a compassionate stranger.
3. Let your pain come out. Let the tears flow. It is okay to cry even if you are not the kind of person who shows your feelings.
4. Try and remember the good times instead of focusing on negative things.
5. Do something that gives you peace; gardening, cooking, fishing, listening to your favorite music, walking, drawing, painting, writing, etc.
6. Involve yourself with social work. When you involve yourself with other people's lives, you gain many insights to cope better.
   • Volunteering to help with young children may be especially good. Their spontaneity, their laughter will soothe you.
7. Save things that remind you of your loved one. Just because the person is gone doesn't mean you shouldn't always remember them. It may be comforting to know that even if the person is no longer here, the friendship and family ties you have with them still exist. No one will ever be able to take that away from you, and the relationship you have with them will always be a part of you.
8. Remember that time heals. It doesn't cure, and it never will; but that's a good thing. We never forget those who we love.
9. Love yourself. If you fall (and you will fall), laugh at yourself, kick yourself in the butt and and go on.
10. Don't regret anything. Don't put yourself down because you didn't have the chance to say you were sorry or I love you or goodbye. You can still say it.

Tips

• Life is beautiful -- it has many wonderful surprises in store for you. So go ahead and smile, visit new places, and meet new people.
• You are suffering, and it's okay to take time for yourself. Though, try to seek out people who will take care of you -- perhaps seek out a support group or therapist who can help you through this time.
• We all have to go through our cycle of life, death and feelings. Grieve for as long as you need to no matter what anyone says. This is your time.
• At one point or another we all deal with something similar to this. Know that there are other people out there who can help you cope with this.
• We are who we choose to be, it is our choices in life that ultimately decide who we are and who we will become.